Very tired, but ready....I think.  Up at 4:30 tomorrow.  I feel so much support and good wishes from everyone.  My heart is full!  I cannot believe this trip is really happening.  I hope I can write soon and share my travels with my friends and family.  See you in Africa!

Packing

After meeting with Sherri the other night we finally decided on the zillion and one games we're bringing for the school and family we're staying with.  I attempted to pack yesterday and got discouraged not by the amount of stuff in my bag, but by the weight.  The maximum weight designated by the airline is 48 pounds.  Every additional pound costs roughly $35!  So the question is what do I leave behind... tough one.

Fog

The fog rolled in on Sunday and spread its unrelenting fingers over the coast. On my walk to the beach I could see the distant hills bathed in sunlight and blue sky, a reminder that happiness lies just out of reach for me at this moment in my life. It’s there, waiting patiently for me to arrive, but I figured out that I have to come to it. It won’t knock on my door. That fact really pisses me off and yet I have no choice, but to seek it out. In fact it is an agonizing ongoing journey, this “happiness thing,” and I’m hoping my stamina grows as I proceed because right now I am exhausted. I am mentally, physically, and emotionally wiped out. I just keep thinking “make it to the airport!”

The jewel in my eye at the moment is, of course, my trip to Africa. I want it to be so many things that I might just be sabotaging myself. I know it won’t be the cure to my disease of sorrow and despair, but it most certainly will be eye opening and amazing. Amazingly beautiful, amazingly shocking, amazing-horrifying, amazingly profound in ways I don’t know yet. I’m ready to feel those emotions, gain some perspective and move beyond these foggy days.